Family

As I watched My Big Fat Greek wedding in Intercultural communication class. I was stunned at how much that movie now made me think of my sister wedding.

No I'm not Greek, nor did she marry into a Greek Family. She married into a Iranian family, though her husband is only half Iranian.

It struck me as odd how in the movie the families of two separate cultures was so strenuous and odd and well a bit painful to watch at times. In the end, everything ended up being alright though. My own experience was completely different.

I had the language barrier, part of the family only spoke Iranian, and some knew a little English but not much. Many however knew English and were amazing to get to know. The same could be said for those who spoke little to no English though. They were all amazing people.

My first incounter with them was at a full on pig roast. Something I had never been to. There was a literally still a pig on a stick being roasts over coals. It was an odd vision. Everyone was amazing though. My sister's father-in-law was one of the nice men I have ever met, and the entire family was just great.

I never felt unwelcome, and I'd like to think I never made them feel unwelcome either. I didn't experience culture shock, and personally I saw them all as competent communicators.

In fact, to this day, when ever anyone says Iran or Iranian, I normally correct them, because it is not I-ran, it is E-ran... a bit of a habit I picked up.

The reason I've thought so much about this while in Scotland was simple. I was struck by oddity of not seeing very many mixed cultural marriages(beyond American-Scottish or English-Scottish) in Scotland.

I don't see many mixed couples walking around Edinburgh or anywhere really, but in the United States this is such a common thing.

Perhaps it is because Scotland doesn't receive as many immigrants as the U.S. or maybe it is because the U.S. is so huge it would be impossible for us to not see such things. Either way, I've experience my own perspective of A Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I hope it isn't my last...

I also hope that more people from Scotland experience such a thing, they are quite amazing.

Torn

I talk a lot with my mouth. In fact sometimes I abuse the privilege of talking. This sometimes irritates some people, while it is considered good by others. However, though I am known for my talkative-ness. I can’t help but miss my friends at home who know me enough that they make fun of my nonverbal-talkative-ness as well. I’m always complementing what I say, by touching someone especially when I’m sorry. I’m also a contradicter especially when on the phone. I say yes a lot while actually shaking my head no. It is just something I do whether I actually mean it or not.

Here though, I feel a bit muffled. I’m not as expressive as I am at home. I’m actually not as talkative. I mean I talk, but normally it is about substantial stuff. In Scotland I just feel like doing such a thing would be a waste of time. No one here, really understands my nonverbal behaviors either. Though most nonverbal communication ambiguous I feel if you truly know someone you understand, not just their verbal communication habits, but also their nonverbal ones.

I don't know if I'm in culture shock or what. I don't think this is culture shock. If anything I want to be more immersed in the Scottish world and culture. I do not wish to return to the States still for a very long time. In fact, the only thing I really miss from the States right now is my friends and a few family members mainly my niece who I haven' t met.

I'm just done with this program. I don't want to deal with class in which the expectations are not clear to me. In which I'll ask what the expectations are, and get a different answer every time. I'm sick of being confused as to whether I'm studying the right material. I wish I had just done an independent study and maybe an internship. Along with the forced class.

My nonverbals are actually screaming this controversy. I may look all happy excited, interested in classes, but if someone understood my gestures, me in general. They'd know I was bored to tears, or frustrated as hell. In otherwords I'm a huge in contradicting when it comes to my nonverbals. I think though that is only true here.

31 days left, and I do not want to leave. 31 days left, and I want this program to end...

I don't like how torn I feel. I don't even know what else to say.

Culture shock perhaps? The honeymoon is over for me? However, it has nothing to do with culture, just has to do with me hating something of Wisconsin.

Oh well... 31 days. Regardless it makes me sad.

Words divide us, Actions unite us.

Words written down, are far easier to understand than words spoken at times. It took me quite a bit of time to understand the Scottish accent. Accent meaning the way the Scottish pronounce their words with their pitch and tone. Scottish English could also be considered a dialect due to the different grammar and pronunciations of words and such. Actually I've never really thought about it, but Scottish is just a different form of English. Just like the Southern Accent/dialect is another form of English. Well anyway, learning to understand the Scottish accent was a bit harder than I first imagined. In the end however I got it down. Until I left for my holiday.

I left for a 9day holiday in Berlin, Germany. First I had to learn that in Germany everyone speaks German. I honestly knew that, but I didn't fully understand it, until I got there and couldn't really understand anything. Thankfully most Germans knew some English, and together with my microscopic amount of German and their lil English we were able to communicate and I was able to survive.

Germans when speaking English have an accent as well. It took me only about a day to adapt to it. I credited this to having already had to adapt to the Scottish accent. The longest conversation I had was simply with an old German man who was forced into the army. It was interesting to hear not only about a different world. It was interesting to have to fully understand what he was trying to say with the language barrier sitting there directly in our face.

When I returned to Scotland. It was HORRIBLE! Not just because I loved Germany, but my ability to understand the Scottish accent had disappeared with my knowledge of the German one. In the end I relearned it quickly, but it did take me a day. I was soooo confused. It seemed funny to me, that this is English, but it is different in so many ways all over the world. Even in the United States.

In the end. I felt lonely in Germany. It was hard to be in a place where I would have to hope that there would be an English Menu, or someone could speak just a bit of English. It was intimidating. Don't get me wrong though. I loved Germany. I had some good pints with the Germans, had good nights, had good food. There was always the threat though, of an inability to communicate.

I couldn't help but think about the Spanish speaking Americans. Is this how they feel at times? Are they intimidated to even go to a grocery store for fear of no one knowing English or no food products being listed in Spanish. It really put things into perspective for me. The Chinese, Japanese, African, and many other immigrants, is the outside world as intimidating to them? I know other countries are smarter than the U.S.A, they all have requirements for a second language.

The one thing this trip has done is made me want to learn a second language in detail. Not just the two years that were required to graduate highschool. I am torn on which language though.

Spanish? German? French?

These are the only three I really have an interest in learning. Spanish and French are similar due to their relation to Latin. German is its own field in that respect! However, I'm leaning towards Spanish or German. German because I want to return to Germany for an extended period of time, and not feel so 'outside looking in'. I want to learn Spanish, so I can communicate with only Spanish-speaking Americans, and help them in my profession I've chosen, without having to worry about the language barrier.

In the end I don't know what I'll choose, or if I'll even have the capacity to learn it due to being, dare I say it, old! At least old in the aspect of learning another language.

All I can hope is that my experiences with language barriers and such will help me to grow, and maybe take that step into learning something new. That I can take action to be more connected with others. I hope I'll succeed. Actually I know I'll succeed I just have to try.