Family

As I watched My Big Fat Greek wedding in Intercultural communication class. I was stunned at how much that movie now made me think of my sister wedding.

No I'm not Greek, nor did she marry into a Greek Family. She married into a Iranian family, though her husband is only half Iranian.

It struck me as odd how in the movie the families of two separate cultures was so strenuous and odd and well a bit painful to watch at times. In the end, everything ended up being alright though. My own experience was completely different.

I had the language barrier, part of the family only spoke Iranian, and some knew a little English but not much. Many however knew English and were amazing to get to know. The same could be said for those who spoke little to no English though. They were all amazing people.

My first incounter with them was at a full on pig roast. Something I had never been to. There was a literally still a pig on a stick being roasts over coals. It was an odd vision. Everyone was amazing though. My sister's father-in-law was one of the nice men I have ever met, and the entire family was just great.

I never felt unwelcome, and I'd like to think I never made them feel unwelcome either. I didn't experience culture shock, and personally I saw them all as competent communicators.

In fact, to this day, when ever anyone says Iran or Iranian, I normally correct them, because it is not I-ran, it is E-ran... a bit of a habit I picked up.

The reason I've thought so much about this while in Scotland was simple. I was struck by oddity of not seeing very many mixed cultural marriages(beyond American-Scottish or English-Scottish) in Scotland.

I don't see many mixed couples walking around Edinburgh or anywhere really, but in the United States this is such a common thing.

Perhaps it is because Scotland doesn't receive as many immigrants as the U.S. or maybe it is because the U.S. is so huge it would be impossible for us to not see such things. Either way, I've experience my own perspective of A Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I hope it isn't my last...

I also hope that more people from Scotland experience such a thing, they are quite amazing.

Torn

I talk a lot with my mouth. In fact sometimes I abuse the privilege of talking. This sometimes irritates some people, while it is considered good by others. However, though I am known for my talkative-ness. I can’t help but miss my friends at home who know me enough that they make fun of my nonverbal-talkative-ness as well. I’m always complementing what I say, by touching someone especially when I’m sorry. I’m also a contradicter especially when on the phone. I say yes a lot while actually shaking my head no. It is just something I do whether I actually mean it or not.

Here though, I feel a bit muffled. I’m not as expressive as I am at home. I’m actually not as talkative. I mean I talk, but normally it is about substantial stuff. In Scotland I just feel like doing such a thing would be a waste of time. No one here, really understands my nonverbal behaviors either. Though most nonverbal communication ambiguous I feel if you truly know someone you understand, not just their verbal communication habits, but also their nonverbal ones.

I don't know if I'm in culture shock or what. I don't think this is culture shock. If anything I want to be more immersed in the Scottish world and culture. I do not wish to return to the States still for a very long time. In fact, the only thing I really miss from the States right now is my friends and a few family members mainly my niece who I haven' t met.

I'm just done with this program. I don't want to deal with class in which the expectations are not clear to me. In which I'll ask what the expectations are, and get a different answer every time. I'm sick of being confused as to whether I'm studying the right material. I wish I had just done an independent study and maybe an internship. Along with the forced class.

My nonverbals are actually screaming this controversy. I may look all happy excited, interested in classes, but if someone understood my gestures, me in general. They'd know I was bored to tears, or frustrated as hell. In otherwords I'm a huge in contradicting when it comes to my nonverbals. I think though that is only true here.

31 days left, and I do not want to leave. 31 days left, and I want this program to end...

I don't like how torn I feel. I don't even know what else to say.

Culture shock perhaps? The honeymoon is over for me? However, it has nothing to do with culture, just has to do with me hating something of Wisconsin.

Oh well... 31 days. Regardless it makes me sad.

Words divide us, Actions unite us.

Words written down, are far easier to understand than words spoken at times. It took me quite a bit of time to understand the Scottish accent. Accent meaning the way the Scottish pronounce their words with their pitch and tone. Scottish English could also be considered a dialect due to the different grammar and pronunciations of words and such. Actually I've never really thought about it, but Scottish is just a different form of English. Just like the Southern Accent/dialect is another form of English. Well anyway, learning to understand the Scottish accent was a bit harder than I first imagined. In the end however I got it down. Until I left for my holiday.

I left for a 9day holiday in Berlin, Germany. First I had to learn that in Germany everyone speaks German. I honestly knew that, but I didn't fully understand it, until I got there and couldn't really understand anything. Thankfully most Germans knew some English, and together with my microscopic amount of German and their lil English we were able to communicate and I was able to survive.

Germans when speaking English have an accent as well. It took me only about a day to adapt to it. I credited this to having already had to adapt to the Scottish accent. The longest conversation I had was simply with an old German man who was forced into the army. It was interesting to hear not only about a different world. It was interesting to have to fully understand what he was trying to say with the language barrier sitting there directly in our face.

When I returned to Scotland. It was HORRIBLE! Not just because I loved Germany, but my ability to understand the Scottish accent had disappeared with my knowledge of the German one. In the end I relearned it quickly, but it did take me a day. I was soooo confused. It seemed funny to me, that this is English, but it is different in so many ways all over the world. Even in the United States.

In the end. I felt lonely in Germany. It was hard to be in a place where I would have to hope that there would be an English Menu, or someone could speak just a bit of English. It was intimidating. Don't get me wrong though. I loved Germany. I had some good pints with the Germans, had good nights, had good food. There was always the threat though, of an inability to communicate.

I couldn't help but think about the Spanish speaking Americans. Is this how they feel at times? Are they intimidated to even go to a grocery store for fear of no one knowing English or no food products being listed in Spanish. It really put things into perspective for me. The Chinese, Japanese, African, and many other immigrants, is the outside world as intimidating to them? I know other countries are smarter than the U.S.A, they all have requirements for a second language.

The one thing this trip has done is made me want to learn a second language in detail. Not just the two years that were required to graduate highschool. I am torn on which language though.

Spanish? German? French?

These are the only three I really have an interest in learning. Spanish and French are similar due to their relation to Latin. German is its own field in that respect! However, I'm leaning towards Spanish or German. German because I want to return to Germany for an extended period of time, and not feel so 'outside looking in'. I want to learn Spanish, so I can communicate with only Spanish-speaking Americans, and help them in my profession I've chosen, without having to worry about the language barrier.

In the end I don't know what I'll choose, or if I'll even have the capacity to learn it due to being, dare I say it, old! At least old in the aspect of learning another language.

All I can hope is that my experiences with language barriers and such will help me to grow, and maybe take that step into learning something new. That I can take action to be more connected with others. I hope I'll succeed. Actually I know I'll succeed I just have to try.

“I stand for freedom of expression, doing what you believe in, and going after your dreams.”

Beliefs and Values...

This two words making up a human being's life. It is impossible to function through a day without these two defining your actions. Values are the driving force in our lives that have us act the way we are.

Once again, I bring up the fact that Scotland is supposed to change you. I bring this up for the simple fact that I have had people saying, "it will just be like old times when you're back, right Megan?"

The problem is, I cannot promise my friends that it will be the same. I do not feel different, but who knows if I still have the same values. If I'm the same Megan they are remembering. My beliefs are still the same, the core of who I am, but how I apply them may have change.

It is complicated to say, but I don't know who I'll be when I'm back in America. What will I value? What will I discard?

Independence is one of the number one values I have. It has always been number one in my life, but I still enjoyed my friends, exploring new places involving a group. Depending on my parents as little as possible, but still depending a bit. I think my trip to Scotland has managed to make me even more independent. I barely get to talk to my parents, my friends. I'm constantly in a group or groups here. If I'm not being followed by a group to Edinburgh or something, I'm doing group work in class. There is no time I'm alone any more. I feel like when I'm back in America my value of independence will run wild. I feel as though I'll cut off from people and just need to hermit myself for a while, do it all on my own.

It isn't shocking that independence is number one in my values, especially since one of my beliefs is in people's choice in life. I see everyone as independent and choosing of their life in many aspects. Therefore, independence is important.

My other value that I didn't realize was important, until coming here is simply individuality. Which seems like something that should have crossed my mind sooner, especially since I value independence.

I see people walking down the street while riding on the public transit, and I am amazed at all the different styles you can see walking down the street. It has really inspired me to just be my eccentric self. I don't feel like I need to conform. When in a group, if their ideas are not matching mind. I feel like my independence and individuality allow me to have the courage to stand up and separate myself from ideas I do not agree with.

I truly realized this in class on Thursday, when I separated myself from my group, when I barely agreed with anything they had decided. Especially because my voice was not being heard. A month ago, I do not know if I would have risked my teachers anger or loss of points by saying I was no longer a part of my assigned group. I would have probably conformed to group think.

My beliefs are pretty sturdy though, if anything Scotland and classes have made them stronger or weaker, but I know I haven't found any new core beliefs or had to drastically of a change. Even minor changes could reform my values. Perhaps I believe even more in my power of choice, and that is why I'm even more independent and individualistic.

In the end. I have no clue who I'll be when I'm back in America. I'll still be Megan the American Woman from Minnesota. But....

Will I be more independent, will I make my voice more loudly heard when I disagree, will I be more open or close minded, will I feel like I am where I belong? Will I feel like my friends have the same values as me? Will my friends still see me as the same Megan?

I just don't know, but I am anxious to find out.

I met a lot of people in Europe. I even encountered myself. ~James Baldwin

I have friends of many different backgrounds and ethnicity. I have even recently acquired some Scottish mates which is great, but after watching Crash(for the second time in my life) I can't help be think of what one of my good friends, Bhao, said to me.

During a staff meeting when we were supposed to talk about something we enjoyed about each person on the staff, she said this for mine.

Bhao(whom is Hmong and a kick arse person!) said that I was amazing because whenever she hung out with me she felt like just another white girl. That she didn't feel like I noticed her ethnicity and she loves that I hung out, just like I would with anyone else. At the time I heard that I was like. OH NO, I'm a horrible person, even though she kept telling me she loved that about me. That I was so open and accepting. That everyone was the same to me and backgrounds didn't matter. To me everyone was amazingly awesome. Meanwhile inside I was screaming, Bad Megan, Bad. All because I had been taught that you are supposed respect people's differences not ignore them. I thought she was basically saying, I was ignoring what made her unique.

But while I was in my bed on Tuesday night. I got it. (of course our class discussing things helped quite a bit) She meant I made her feel like, she was apart of the majority and not in the minority. In America, and even here in the U.K. the white are the majority. They are the politicians, they dominate the schools(for the most part), the higher paying jobs, and are mainly the view you see of these countries.

Bhao was saying when I hung out with her, I wasn't belittling her ethnicity, I was accepting it as on par with my own. At the time, I couldn't understand this, but after having it happen to myself, I get it.

I finally in Scotland felt like I was a minority all because of a single incident. I may be white, but I'm a white American, not a white European. What does this mean? Simple. Most places in Scotland(according to my American Host mum who lives here with her Scottish husband) will not higher American's full time, even if they have immigrated here legally and permanently. They need to have dual citizen ship(which takes even longer than in the U.S.) to get a full time job easily. Even then it is hard with the label American. She said she believed it was because they are always afraid the Americans abandon and go back to America. When she told me this, that was when I truly felt like even though people were the same color as me, looked like me. They had something more than me, a privilege I cannot achieve.

I know this is nothing like being a minority in America, and not even a tenth of what some people have experienced, but it was still shocking to me.

I was someone who came from a dominate culture of Mt. Dew, cheeseburgers, french fries, big cars, and even bigger houses, but... if I immigrated or went to school in Scotland or the U.K. for that matter I would struggle to find a job just because of the label American.

That's a reverse for me. The label American is what gets you a job in America. A white American is the dominate culture in my country. Not here though. Here I'm a minority. I am white American, and even though that whiteness still gets me more here than compared to a Hispanic or African American because the dominate culture is still white. The full title of the dominate culture is white European(British in the U.K.) which I am not fully apart of.

It's weird. It's different. It's unnerving.

An immigrant is an immigrant(I'm not an immigrant, but I could have been), why does their former country matter so much?

Mexico, America, Britain, Scotland, Iran, Iraq, Russia, Haiti, Canada, Belize, Egypt. It is more than just a place you live. It is a place your privileges are decided. They are places that help dictate how you're treated, who you are.

I'm a White American Woman, who is a part of the dominate culture in America, where I could be anything I want. I am a White American Woman who is not apart of the dominate culture in Scotland, where I would struggle to find a full time job.

Do I still want to move to Scotland or the U.K. permanently? No, it is a dream that costs too much.

I am a White American Woman who will stay in America where my dreams will be less costly. Where I will not have to work as hard, and let my privilege of being a part of the majority help me get where I want in the world. I am privileged in America, and I fully realize this now. It is the easy way, but the way I choose.

I'm Megan, I'm White, I'm American, I'm a Woman, I'm a Minnesotan.

Who are you?

It's choice not chance that determines your destiny.

Before I came to Scotland everyone was telling me about how Scotland would change my ideas on life. That it would change me as a Human Being. I have only been here for twenty eight days, so I can't completely say for sure it hasn't or has. All I can say is that yes it is effecting me. It is making me think twice about things I did naturally for the simple reason I do not wish to offend anyone. However, my worldview, my ideas on life, have all stayed in tact and if anything coming to Scotland has helped me to support them even more.

While I was in the Highlands I went to the Firth of Moray. It was a nice little sandy/rocky bit of coast with a small white house on top of it. I was there for two hours. I completely cut myself off from everyone around me. First I took off my shoes and walked barefoot on a patch of sand and let the cold ocean water slowly make my feet numb. The entire time I was looking out over the Firth just thinking about life, myself, and others.

My view on the world is complicated, but simple to say. Maybe not so much to explain. However, I believe in choices. Everything is a choice. You choose. You decide. I'll explain this a bit more because after class I was seriously debating exactly how my view of choices would be explained completely considering everything that makes up a worldview.

Worldview is your idea on God, humanity, nature, questions of existence, the universe and cosmos, life, moral and ethical reasoning, suffering, death and other philosophical issues that influence how its members perceive their world. (According to my lovely intercultural book)

Now as I sat their and stared out over the Firth there was one simple thing that my choices view couldn't answer. I could answer about God, you can choose to believe in one or not, humanity has a choose of how to live their lives and purposes, we can choose to appreciate nature or destroy it, etc. etc.

However, I couldn't answer one question with that view. How did the earth get here? I know I have the idea that it was by chance and a random occurrence. But, my view of the world is very set in choices and random chance isn't a choice. Then as I was sitting there on the sand I had an Epiphany. I have never need to know everything. The answer to how the earth happened may not be consistent with my overall worldview, but that doesn't mean it can't be a dimension of it.

I have no religion. I have no label. As I sat there staring at a couple of seals playing in the Firth I asked myself. Am I as happy as people with religions? Am I as happy as someone with a label like Agnostic or an Atheist?

My answer was yes. I'm as happy, if not happier than anyone else in the world. I then just sat on the sand and stared out over the ocean while I watched the seals CHOSE to play with each other. I was happy I CHOSE to come to Scotland.

In London Everythings Extra

So I went to the wonderful city of London. As previously stated. However I should probably go into more detail of what I actually did.

In order to get to London we went the cheap route of taking something called a Mega-Bus. This Mega-Bus is basically a coach bus that drives throughout the night for eight straight hours to get to London from Edinburgh. We left at 10pm from Edinburgh, and arrived in London at 8am. It turns out that 8am is actually rush hour in London. So our group of 35 had to learn to ride the tube(the subway) during rush hour. Thankfully I was a quick learner and got it quickly.

We arrived at the Generator, our Hostel, and got our rooms. I was in room 348.(I took a picture of it in order to remember my number). We than got back on the tube to go on a free walking tour of London to get a bit of knowledge of what or where we wanted to go.

The picture above is my first picture in London in Hyde Corner Park which was three stops away from Russell Square where my Hostel was. The monument we are in-front of is in honor of the Duke of Wellington(ever heard of the Wellington boot?) It was made to mock the French as the English often do.

After our tour we went to lunch with a tour guide for a lunch that was 25% off. I had macaroni and cheese and broccoli that I shared with Brandon. After words we headed off to the British Museum to kill time until we left for dinner before Wicked. After about an hour in the British Museum Brandon and I headed back out into the world.

And in this world we got lost for about 2 hours. It was okay though, we got directions from maps and locals and wandered our way back to our Hostel. It was actually quite fun, and made us be able to see more of London as we were wandering. It turns out we were once exactly a block away from our Hostel, but thought we were going the wrong way so we turned around.

After my lost adventure, I got ready for Wicked and we headed to a diner in central London that served Italian food. I am not someone who likes Italian food. However I had a pasta dish with eggs, onions, white sauce, and bacon(canadian bacon). It was probably the best dish ever!!! It was one of the cheaper things on the menu because this place was a little spendy. After dinner we headed out to Wicked. It was amazing, and I think Wicked sounds even better with a British accent. A weird thing the Brits do, during intermission you can eat food! I had an orange push pop during the intermission at this really nice theater(the apollo).

After that we wandered back onto the tube and to our Hostel. The next morning we got up early to head to the Tower of London!! WOOT!! It was so friggen awesome. It was everything I'd hoped it could be. A debbie downer is that I didn't get to see as much of it as I wanted, even though I was there for three hours. I plan on going back to London specifically for the Tower. I was unable to get in the chapel that holds Anne Boleyn's body. So I need to go back. I did however purchase a locket in the shape of the Tudor Rose.

After the Tower I headed to Chinatown with Paige, and we ate at this little Vietnamese restaurant. We got a giant bowl of soup.(which was great for me cuz I was pretty sick by this point) The soup was only 5 pounds and the bowl was bigger than my head. I also had fresh pineapple juice which was amazing. After that Paige and I haggled at some shops, and wandered into a bunch of bakeries. The bake goods were so cheap we got a bunch to sample. I was even able to find the wonderful creation known as Mt. Dew in a Chinese shop, most of the U.K. fails to have any Mt. Dew! IT IS DEPRESSING. Later that night I went to Les Miserables and fell in love with the musical. So I plan on getting the sound track soon.

By this time my feet hurt and I head back to my hostel. I did other things, but this post is getting too long, so I'll end it with my train ride home. I rode the train for the first time ever, and it was awesome. I watch the scenery flash by, and got to see the Scottish Coast. It was amazing. Now it is time for class. So I best be going. BYES!